What is it with Mother Nature? Trouble is afoot. Floods, hurricanes, drought, El Nino, wild-fires, a tree-beetle epidemic, melting glaciers, tsunami, and I’m sure a volcano is about to blow…all symptoms of a distressed Mother Earth. What, you ask, could upset the fearsome Ma Nature like this, leading to such demonstrations of her terrible wrath?
It’s quite obvious to me that at the core of the problem is the relatively new advent of wacko environmentalism which has, as a surprisingly unexpected consequence, a pissed off Mother Nature. Yes, it’s all quite clear: you see, Mother Nature is definitely suffering from Long Lost Love Syndrome–she pines for her loggers.
It is a reasonable assessment, after all, once you think about it. You see, the Loggers of Old were legendary men, mighty adversaries, who tramped her forests since day one, who sang songs to her as they wrested each day from the steep terrain and bitter elements. The Ancient Woodsman walked gladly through the timbered hillside, lunched beside laughing mountain springs, and was at home on the rocky peaks. Ignoring the danger and his complaining body, he was a free spirit of the wild–a natural companion for Mother Nature.
I mean think about it–what would you do if you were her? Contrast this Man of Old who belonged to the land, the big-hearted servant of those vast forests, with the modern tree-hugger–desperate for love. The mighty Logger’s every day was a contest with Nature as he laid his life on the line to do his job. Yet he was a cheerful man in his work. Every day he struggled against the steep ground, the wind and rain, knowing that even this day might be his last. Every day was a gift, a privilege. Tomorrow could worry about itself.
Yes, Mother Nature delighted in those excellent breed of men who worked and toiled in her forests, all heart, and can’t help but feel cheated as she compares them with the modern lot: a handful of unrealistic idealists wandering her trails wanting to worship her. She never was much on that.
Ma Nature is throwing a wild, screaming, angry, spittin’ hissy fit over her absent loggers, which she has never been without since the beginning of time–the only true environmentalists, the only ones who truly understood her, truly belonged. Gone.
Things can only get worse.